Hello and thank you for calling in...

My name is Helen and I am a Photographer living in England. I started this Blog on the day that my Grandma died, three months after my Father died and several weeks before a third funeral. Initially it was a very personal way to stay connected to the people I'd lost and it helped, it really did. But writing and taking pictures everyday has opened back up a creative side that I had lost during the everyday. A big thank you to my followers, to those who take the time to comment and to new visitors, I hope we will become Blog friends too...

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Happy Birthday Dad

a view on our favourite walk over 'Windy Fields'

Today was my Fathers birthday, is/was how do you say that? To me he still IS, maybe not here for me to see and talk to but i still feel him. Its like the feeling you have when your not alone in the house, when your on your own in a room but there are other people in, the warm comfy feeling that your family is there.
I'm going to take a drive up to the village where we lived, in Derbyshire, with my camera and walk the walks we used to love. We had so many happy times there, that was the place where he wasn't ill, where he had friends and family and future. The place before we knew the nightmare ahead. If we'd stayed there, if we'd never moved to Leicester, carried on along that road instead of taking the fork would things have remained just as they were? Did we alter the future when we altered the course? who knows.

dad's style

All the members of my family are reacting in their own way but individually, which I suppose is how its done. There is no rule book to tell you 'this is how you celebrate someones birthday once they have died' It would be nice to hear how other people do it, if you have a minute to comment? For me, i would like us to all get together, have a picnic as its a lovely day, talk, laugh and reminisce the afternoon away in the sunshine. But my mum wants to stay at home, my brother is working in London and I've had to nag my son to come out with me, so it seems its just me who wants to mark the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, thats fine by me.
We don't have a grave to visit, Mum hasn't decided what she wants to do about that yet which today I'm actually glad about as I don't feel like dwelling on death, I feel like remembering life and good times. Fathers Day I was sad and needed a grave, somewhere to go and cry, I felt lost but today I feel like running through the fields and climbing trees I haven't climbed for years! I will post a photograph when I get back, it will be interesting to see what I capture today.

No comments:

Post a Comment